Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
