I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
