lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
