he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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