Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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