So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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