he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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