so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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