the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
