turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
