Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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