how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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