Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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