Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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