dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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