two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
