Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
