Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
