Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
