You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
