Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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