if i can run in heels then i can drive
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
