she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We don't watch enough power rangers
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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