Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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