forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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