Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
