If i come over, it means nothing
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy