OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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