he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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