I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
