i wish my penis had a tongue
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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