one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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