During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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