using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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