you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
