So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
