I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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