I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
