i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize