I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
