She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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