so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
