Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
my liver is dry heaving
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
