No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
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She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
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It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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