I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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