awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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