i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
