Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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