we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
