It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
