We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
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At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
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No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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