Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
