Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
