absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
