I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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