Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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